Many years ago, unaware of real life yet believing in the depth of truth and principle, I jotted some thoughts on paper. Well, on the computer. In my own way I tried to make them represent my principles, my devotion and my patriotism for Pakistan. But if I were to read them now, I would find the words cute, perhaps endearing, but nothing exceptional. 

Yet there was someone who gave it more than a passing thought. Someone who was a distant figure who wrote about press freedom in Pakistan, and was the only book available in the library to complete a report I had planned. He took time out to notice a teeny tiny article hidden somewhere in the folds of the paper. Not only to read, nod, and smile at, but also to call the newspaper and ask to speak to the young girl who had written the idealistic lines. It was a moment remembered many moments later, to make many other moments special. He felt good to know such thoughts existed in the new generation. I confirmed with him whether it was ok to be idealistic because people called me and my friends mad for thinking this way. He said, its the mad mad mad people of this world who are keeping it going. And that was good. That defined ‘encouragement’ to me. I remember it still. I will appreciate it forever.

Many years later,  I came across Mr Niazi’s son, unexpectedly realizing his connection. I shared the moment with him. It was like passing on the feeling, the thanks, the idealism. He didnt say anything, but I know he received the knowledge. The next day he gave me  ”Fettered Freedom” by Zamir Niazi, silently. And when I last night picked up the book, I realized how the tradition of care and the spirit of encouragement had been firmly preserved.

By writing tonight perhaps I once again pass it on…

What is about some films that they leave an eternity of sadness in their wake. Like lasting shadows, lingering after the flash of light is gone, unreal and untouchable. Its somewhat that feeling which remained with me after I saw this particular film. While you enjoy the highs, the lows, and the simple miraculousness of moments woven in the middle, you cannot help but turn away from the dull ache that lingers after the intensity is gone.

Inevitably, the intensity, the depth, stems from a heart to heart connection. A bond of love so strong that one cannot help but feels its presence and its pain throughout. An image from the movie stays with me, and its strange that this is the one to linger on, causing a startle at each recollection. Now I know the scene is not superior photographically, by acting or plot….yet it makes an impression on me. How do you understand love, it questions, when all parameters have been pushed upside down? Is there a definition, a simple idea? But it comes through, one way or the other. The love comes through, and leaves behind the futility of life…making it difficult to be understanding of life and its problems…simply making it difficult.

When you live in world ruled by traffic, last minute plans, large loving families, and six day work weeks, count on it that you will slowly go insane. I am no psychologist, but believing one plus one to be two, this is the very reason why people living, working and moving in sprawling cities are often well known for their bad tempers and relentless attitude. And it doesn’t happen overnight either, it happens, bit by bit, as Emily Dickinson put it, bone by bone. And then one day if you have the time to just look at yourself in the mirror, perhaps you will realize how much you have changed.

The feeling of constantly being rushed does sap you of your creative spirit. The passion to not just get the job done, but to go the extra few steps to making it more of what you are capable. To constantly take your ability and take it to higher levels by challenging yourself. To have time to remove all that is polluting the insides, and maintain all the good. This might sound like a lot of wasted time to many, but is it really? At the end of the day, your success and the satisfaction attached with it, is connected to how well you are performing at life. What your contribution is. So I would say, one should never be ashamed to take that little bit of time just for oneself….to unwind in a way which is natural to you, to sip tea while watching a show which makes you laugh, or penning down thoughts that help you sort out your brain. 

Many times those responsible for “time” in our lives do not understand the significance of this. I wish they would. Until they dont, we must strive to get what we still can, to make sure our inner spirit does not get lost.